The thirtieth anniversary of the Late Show with David Letterman came on February 1st, 2012, and the atmosphere inside the Ed Sullivan Theater was the same pale vibe, enlivened only by the choice booking of Howard Stern, now a fifty-eight-year-old relic and legend of the trade. Letterman’s opening monologue was followed by a traditional and grand skit of self-effacement, through a top-10 list delivered by longtime Late Show staffers: “we have never met,” pronounced a female writer, straight-faced, to the camera, as Dave and the audience, and the laugh track, laughed, made bright by the glitz, the lights, and the production of what a politician called the “lamestream” media.
“It’s like a morgue in here,” Howard Stern declared, as he took a seat on the ultra-modern upholstery that is the set, kicking off the show’s third segment. Dave had already drawn attention to, and tried to make fun of, his network’s lack of celebration of the show’s good standing after three decades, but the presence of the self-proclaimed “King of All Media” (a title Letterman left out of his introduction of Stern) helped make Dave’s anniversary night uniquely personal. Howard, wearing what appeared to be the same outfit he wore one year ago on the same show, leapt straight for the jugular vein of the show’s interpersonal relationships: the lanky radio host wasn’t on the set ninety seconds before he challenged the band’s choice of his intro theme-song-riff, and asked Letterman if he could name CBS Orchestra leader Paul Shaffer’s wife and children. They had, after all, shared the same stage nightly, since 1982. (Two minutes later, Dave did.)
It’s been a weird road for Howard Stern, and no cakewalk for Letterman, either: Letterman survived a scandal and media frenzy regarding his relationships with some of his interns, and after allusions to the 2009 incident, admitted to Stern he is still in therapy. Stern didn’t have a problem admitting to Dave that he’s in therapy four times each week—more days than he broadcasts live on Sirius/XM. “I’m all about honesty in broadcasting; meanwhile, I’m a big phony,” Stern quipped. Last March, Stern appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone, appearing more introspective, pleadingly honest about his failed marriage (and 2001 divorce) and his fear of taking for granted his second wife, model Beth Ostrosky: “I’m awfully narcissistic, and I have to keep that in check. I can’t be like King Tut sitting there and expect to be taken care of,” Stern said in that interview. On the Late Show, Stern asked Dave, “whoever thought I could get a woman that beautiful?,” after the host showed a few of Howard’s photographs of Beth O, his second (and much younger) bride. A few surprised gasps but no laughter from the audience; “Yes, very beautiful. We had her on the program,” Dave muttered back. Those who enjoin Howard on his Monday-Wednesday (most weeks) schedule become all too familiar of how conflicted he feels, about his own pursuits, self-image, and ethic: “In a way, I’m in as weird a place as Charlie Sheen,” he said in his interview in Rolling Stone. The audience at the Late Show had no response, and no laugh track was imposed, when Stern cited the name of the on-air game show that first got the FCC’s attention: Bestiality Dial-A-Date. Was the audience silent because it was offensive, because the government had once rendered it so, or because nobody understood the antique concept of ‘dial-a-date’?
The “King of All Media” will be appearing outside of his realm again soon, as well: as a judge on America’s Got Talent. Do American television audiences want, or expect, to see Howard Stern make people cry, in his new gig as a judge? Stern’s abilities have always extended not far beyond the reach of the forms of his own creation: the autonomy of his radio program and now his two channels on Sirius/XM, his legendary television series for Channel 9, his production work on Son of the Beach. Stern, whose own interior conflicts and psychological struggles have been a major source of his humor, may find himself squirming uncomfortably in his seat, part of someone else’s game. “I gotta get out of here,” Howard pronounced, following a silly “Is This Anything?” segment on the Late Show, in which a mime bounced around inside of a giant balloon. Days later, Howard described the moment on his Sirius/XM morning show: a guy came out and moved around, and I kept waiting for him to do something, he told his co-host, Robin Quivers. Whether or not David Letterman’s Late Show does anything more than bounce around in a metaphorical mime costume, and set a low bar for public discourse and comedy, both Stern and Letterman agreed that late night rival Jay Leno was worth their ridicule: in the show’s final segments, Dave descended into a squeaky and ignoble impression of Jay, to Stern’s bemusement.
Letterman and Stern laughed effacingly through a series of photographs of Stern’s previous appearances, from broadcasting days of yore: Howard in women’s clothing, promoting his second book, Miss America; a wild-haired rock-video styled Stern from 1988, in a purple jacket; and the oldest image, of both Stern and Letterman on the crudest-looking set, decked out in the fashion of the 1980s, with Stern donning a thick black mustache, far from his pale, bony face of the present (he revealed to his audience after transitioning to Sirius/XM that he had, in fact, lied to his listeners about his nose job). In a strange moment of valor, the lanky Stern stood to receive an envelope containing six twenty dollar bills—financial bait for Brad Pitt, who was taping something nearby. Howard torn open the envelope and swung his arm widely, letting the money fly: “to the audience,” he declared. Stern said goodbye on the air to Dave by stating, “I think longevity in this business is impossible… I am honored to be here with you.”
Chaney, J. (2012). “Howard Stern, celebrating 30 years of David Letterman in late night by denouncing Jay Leno.” The Washington Post Entertainment. Retrieved from http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/howard-stern-celebrating-30-years-of-david-letterman-in-late-night-by-denouncing-jay-leno/2012/02/02/gIQAvZAYkQ_blog.html
Oldenburg, A. (2011). “Howard Stern: Divorce ‘felt like such a failure.’ USAToday. Retrieved from http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/03/howard-stern-divorce-felt-like-such-a-failure/1
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